:D

rant rants ranting;

i tried to start off this year on the right note since last year was more than i could take it. i did my tutorials, tried studying for my tests, trained hard hoping to improve my score, tried being nice to everyone. at first it wasn't that bad but now, it's starting to tire me out completely. it seems as though no matter how hard i try, nothing's gonna turn out the way i want them to. my studies still sucked, my score ain't improving, not everyone is nice to me. as much as i try not to think too much because there is really no point, it only makes matters worse yet i just can't help thinking.

and i've been a bad christian.

i haven't been praying much, haven't been spending time with God, i dread going to church, i complain about every single minute details in my life, i gossip like nobody's business, i swear occasionally, i haven't been showing concern to people around me, i take many things and people for granted.

come to think of it, i seriously don't deserve anything.

i want to run away,
away from this fucked up world.


why do you keep appearing in my dreams?


LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: huixin
Birth date: 12 june 1989
Current status: zonked out
Eye colour: black
Hair colour: black
Righty or Lefty: right
Zodiac Sign: gemini

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE.
Your heritage: i'm a cheena girl.
Your fears: balloons, drowning, bugs, losing my loved ones, rejection
Your weaknesses: paranoid-ness
Your perfect pizza: hawaiian please

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
Your thoughts first waking up: darn, it's morning already.
Your bedtime: usually after 11pm
Your most missed memory: when i was still a toddler.

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: neither. they both taste equally disgusting.
McDonald’s or Burger King: macs
Single or group dates: i guess i don't mind both.
Adidas or Nike: adidas
Lipton tea or Nestea: neither. i don't like tea.
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: coffee definitely

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: NEVER EVER!
Curse: occasionally. i'm trying to refrain from it.
Take a shower: like duh? who doesn't?
Have a crush: hmmm yeah
Think you’ve been in love: not really
Go to school: yes and it sucks sometimes.
Want to get married: yepp
Believe in yourself: sometimes

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Drank alcohol: nope
Gone to the mall: yupp
Been on stage: nah
Eaten sushi: i think so. can't really remember.
Dyed your hair: no but i want to.

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER?
Played a stripping game: no
Changed who you were to fit in: no

LAYER EIGHT
Age you’re hoping to be married: 25?

LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY.
Best eye colour: hazel
Best hair colour: doesn't matter as long as he looks fine.
Short or long hair: i prefer short.

LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 minute ago: doing this
1 hour ago: drinking ice milo that mummy made for me
4.5 hours ago: listening to sermon in church
1 month ago: i can't remember.
1 year ago: i don't know.

LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
I love: being a couch potato.
I feel: like crap. i've been coughing non-stop for the past 5468795213654798 hours.
I hate: annoying bitches.
I hide: when i don't feel like facing the world.
I miss: him.
I need: to lose weight.